Confronting Racism by Asking Questions: an insight into genuine spiritual conversations

Listen to enough people, and you become more adept at reading the signs of who is truly engaging with you… “If you allow [people] to express their views … there is an excellent chance that people will reciprocate.” [1]

Spoken by a man who loves and follows Jesus, these words are as profoundly simple as they are powerful. But what’s truly shocking is the context in which Daryl Davis employs the art of asking questions and the art of listening.

Davis is an African American who, over the course of many years, has made friends with dozens of card-carrying members of the Ku Klux Klan, most of whom have since walked away from the Klan and its ideology of hate. In each case the change came not through open debate, but through relationship built over time and cemented by Davis’ genuine interest and love for the person.

This remarkable story first debuted as a documentary at the South by Southwest film festival before Christianity Today picked it up in March of 2016.

The key, according to Davis, was simply that he asked good questions. And they weren’t carefully baited traps, like those of a news anchor moderating a debate and hoping to successfully ambush a presidential candidate. Davis asked questions because he genuinely wanted to learn and to know the person, which also made him a good listener.

When someone interacts with you like that, you quickly exhaust your practiced rhetoric and have to dig deeper for the core beliefs that drive your viewpoint. Not surprisingly, many of Davis’ “friends” ultimately became friendly toward him and dissatisfied with their own answers. Eventually they started asking him questions.

Reflecting on his interview with Davis, the writer of the CT article wrote, “Is it really that simple? Can we earn the privilege of talking to people (rather than at them) by being willing to listen to them?” [2]

The questions are rhetorical, so perhaps it’s best to let the Bible answer them:

You have heard that it was said, “Love your neighbor and hate your enemy” But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you… (Matthew 5:43-44, NIV)

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you. (Proverbs 25:21-22, NIV)

Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. (1 Peter 3:9, NIV)

Imagine what might happen if Christians began to employ the powerful strategy of Daryl Davis, not only in matters of racism and bigotry, but in building authentic relationships with people who believe differently?

Rather than feeling as though we needed to finish our first spiritual conversation with a neighbor with the sinner’s prayer, what if we made it our goal to get to know them?

What if we didn’t stop at just finding out what they believe about God, but why? To discover the backstory and give them a chance to share the journey that led them to this point?

What if, by asking good questions and listening well, a person who believed differently than you actually wanted to reciprocate and ask you what you believe about God?

David Wollen
Q Place Director of Marketing, Development and Operations